What we can when we feel we can't

During the third pregnancy I finally grew up enough to decide that motherhood can be an essential part of my artistic process and making it visible became kind of my manifesto. In the same bag, there was the experience of exclusion/loneliness/shame/guilt and you can add here more by yourself. Creation became the space that helped me to understand real and magical things. 

I would like to share a few scores inspired by my works that might provide a space for experiments/research or experiences that help maintain caring responsibilities and participation in the cultural world. By practising it we can also make it more visible or look at it closer, then more inclusively. By practising them we may care and be cared for.

People of all ages might perform all proposals,
no experience is required,
it can be performed in groups of different people or alone,
old and young,
adults and children,
all genders,
other species are also welcomed,
use of objects is welcomed,
your versions are welcomed,
feel free not to achieve any goals,
trying does not mean to be successful.
Success s**ks.
Failure helps us to discover new things.  

Try to see composition instead of mess. 

Mess is one of the central parts of my works. I think that I am making a mess in all my works. It is something that frustrates me at home while on the stage or in the rehearsal room I can see it from a different angle. Mess is something that each carer needs to face very often. It might be very exhausting, it might be a source of shame and discomfort. In the performance “Mothersuckers. Production about reproduction” I reproduced the home mess on the stage so the viewers could, on the one hand, experience how it is to live among mess but on the other hand, to get used to that, and see that it is possible to live with mess. For some viewers of my video work “Mot/her KC” it was also a huge relief to see that in others' homes, there is also a mess. The true relief came to me when I started to see interesting and creative compositions in the mess. I was tempted by not only putting objects but also seeing my body as part of the exploration. In the performance for families “Contact Families Show” we have a whole scene called Choreo-objects, which is very similar to the exercise proposed here and which shows the huge potential of creativity and fun in making the mess or working with everyday/surrounding us things:

Step 1: Give yourself X (as much as you need) minutes to observe your space, look for different structures, and smells, look for objects that call you, look how big/small they are, how it is to touch them, and can they make any sound?, how they can be moved?, take any objects you like and put them together next to you.

Step 2: Find a space that you to would like to act in. It might be completely empty but it can also be full. You may put some music on or listen to the sounds of the surrounding. 

Step 3: Treat that space as a moving and constantly changing image. Enter that space as many times as you want but try to bring the chosen object(s) with you. You may just put the thing somewhere in the space and leave it. While entering the space you may move the object to the place you like. While entering you may move with the object. 

Play as long as you want or as long as you have objects or your version of timing phrame.

Try to find beauty and curiosity in the discomfort of lying down

During the Covid I was completely exhausted, I was feeling tired for a long time much earlier than Covid. I self-provoked myself to perform resting. It became the starting point of the performance “Let’s explore bed position”. When I look closer I see that there is always a kind of lying-down proposal also for viewers in many of my works.

Lying down is called artistic superpower. It helps to balance creative states of mind and unlock energy in the body. Lying down position is used as an exercise in many somatic practices for example in yoga, Feldenkrais method, or in body scanning. In that position our body can rest, it is easier to relax our muscles and breathe deeper. Switching perspective from habitual vertical upright posture might alter our thinking, and show new ideas or old ones from different angles. 

Exercise: Lie down and try to do nothing, soon you realize that it might be the most difficult task in your life. To stay alive you need to keep breathing, it is a huge task. Try to undo all other actions ( Maybe let’s also keep blood circulation on :)) If you find it boring or impossible please do not worry. You may begin to concentrate on space and things around you, on the smell, and become aware of the structures of your bed, blankets and other materials in your bed. You may explore the difference between moving and not moving, try to play with borders and find the moment when the movement starts and ends. You may start to move without thinking, feel free to do whatever, then try to remember some shapes of your body, and if you want to you can start to repeat those. You may fall asleep, you may jump on the bed, or you may try to stop the experiment whenever you want.

Try to explore the power of touch, trust and having fun 

In 2016 I became a certified Contakids teacher. Together with dance improvisation, those methods became very important tools for nonverbal communication. They were sources of building trust in myself and others, having fun with myself and others through the power of touch and movement. It is both about giving and taking in constant sharing.

Version 1: One person puts hands on the body of another one. The one who has hands on the body is responsible for the safety of the second one. The person who is touched is welcome to relax and trust the other one. Both of you may start to explore balancing with your bodies. The role of the person who is responsible is to take the weight of the other person. The role of the person who trusts is to give the weight. Play with taking and giving as if it is a dialogue. Try to feel how much the other person can give or take. I encourage you to have your eyes closed ( the one who trusts) but it is not compulsory. Switch the roles.

Version 2: One person is still in someone else’s hands. Now you can experiment more with moving in the space. The “responsible” person invites the person who “trusts” to kind of travel through the space. It might be simply by just giving the hand and following the leading person. Another proposal is to lead the other person by pushing the body of the follower either by using hands or other parts of the body. In that case, we need again to give and take the weight of the body. Closing the eyes of followers is highly recommended but is still up to you. Feeling comfortable is in the first place. Switch roles. 

In case you do not feel like working with other bodies it is still possible to perform those exercises. The architecture and nature give us a lot of supporting “bodies” that might help us to experience trust and being responsible. The walls might be really great to give us the sense of feeling safe and keeping the balance and weight of our bodies. In that case, just stay in front of the wall and try falling gently. Feel the strength and the lightness of your weight depending on how far from the wall you are. By pushing your back against the wall you may experience how the wall is “keeping” your body and give you support. You may try similar things with trees. What if we try to be the leading person for them? :)

Trusting and being responsible is quite a serious thing but still try to have also fun with it. Fallings and misunderstandings are great sources of laughter, do not regard them as mistakes.